Communication

Out of all days for drama.......today is the day by BD (Baby's Daddy) decides to bring me that as a gift. I managed to get 6 months worth of pent up frustration, aggravation, anger, sadness, and raw emotions regarding my situation with him out today. He fails to realize that COMMUNICATION IS A KEY in ALL relationships. Relationships being defined as friend to friend, mother to father, boyfriend to girlfriend, etc. He and I have a parenting relationship. I don't believe in telepathy and I sure don't have the ability to read anyone's mind including his. Me and my BD had a screamin' match for hours today and I am emotionally exhausted.........forced to reveal raw emotions and tears. I've been fightin' them back and covering them up with anger because it's SO much easier than bein' vulnerable to the situation tearin' my heart apart. I can't stress enough how important communication is between people. I know sometimes it can be hard to communicate certain things but if you deny ME communication then my mind is allowed to wonder off trying to figure out what is actually going on or what is actually being felt. I don't know how you feel unless you tell me how you feel. This was a time bomb waitin' to explode........it was inevitable. Just kills me because it could have ALL been avoided if he would have allowed communication to happen. SO FRUSTRATING! I am drained right now and hope that we had a breakthrough for our son's sake because I want him in DJ's life and I have never wanted to have THAT kind of relationship with my BD where we couldn't get a long. I'm going to put it in God's hands and hope that it gets worked out. This is me venting.....I know........I'm done.......life will move forward hoping for the best. So please remember with EVERY relationship you have in your life that it is imperative that you communicate because I promise, the other person CANNOT read your mind.

Precious Life

Life is so very precious. It is too often that we take it for granted. It is too often that we take a breath and forget that it can be over in an instant and thank God for the next one that comes after it. Death is a true fear of mine for many reasons. Tears fall down my face thinkin' about any of my family or friends dying. I've never really lost someone to death that has been incredibly close to me and really don't want to find out how I would be emotionally. I've lost people that I knew and I've lost family that I wasn't really that close to or was too young to recognize the significance of the loss. Sometimes I dream or maybe just hear of someone else losing their life and my mind goes twisting into "what if" and it literally drives me to tears because I cannot fathom losing someone I love. Just seeing someone else mourn over someone they loved makes me emotional. Sometimes I wonder if God's plan for me to go will be sooner than later or will I be old and have the opportunity to be blessed with more family of my own.........will I get to see DJ get old and take the journey of life through school, first kisses, success, and have a family of his own. I never want to leave him lonely.........I love him SOOOO much.........words cannot even grasp the emotion behind my love for him. He is a true blessing to me and sometimes I don't always feel like I tell him that enough or show him enough but he truly is my heart. Losing him would kill my heart and I hope God's plan for him is to outlive me many many years. I do hope that whenever God makes my last breath that I leave a good memory.........leaving my family and friends with a blessing........leaving them with happiness to remember me by. I love my family and I hope if not anything else that they know that I love them with every feeling in my body, mind, and soul. When I leave this world I hope you all, family and friends, know that you are a blessing to me. You all and DJ are what keep me going and keep me grounded and I thank you all. Just remember that life is precious, so never forget to say I love you if you feel it, never forget to give a hug, never forget that the last thing you said to me or someone else could be the very last thing you ever say.

I ran across this advice column and thought this information to be very helpful in some of my present dating situations and so I'm sharing it with you to JUST IN CASE you might benefit from reading it as I did.

How many times have you waited too long for a man to call and ask you out again after you had an amazing time together? He seemed truly interested, but then you never heard from him again. Why does this happen for so many women? And what does it mean about men?

Here are the 5 most common reasons why men don’t call back, even after a great date:

Reason #1: He’s Having Trouble Being Honest If you and a man hit it off, trade numbers, talk for a while or trade emails, but he never seems to make the initiative to actually see you – then something else is going on. Men often have a hard time sharing the truth about their feelings with women they’ve just met. Maybe he’s already seeing someone else. It’s fine to casually ask in a playful way, “I’m curious since you’re kinda cute -- are you dating anyone interesting right now?” Invite honesty from men and you’ll get it. If you wait and wonder, you’ll end up wasting your own time and energy.

Reason #2: He’s Just Looking For a Fling If a man really likes you, but he is more interested in a casual encounter and senses you’re not that kind of girl, he’ll move on -- partially out of respect for you (or his own selfish desires). In either case, the timing is off. Not calling you back was his way of letting you know where he’s at without having to say it directly. Take heart -- in this case he’s actually doing you a favor by not calling.

Reason #3: He Was Just Being Polite Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, all the while dreading the idea of ever talking to him again? Men do something similar with women. Sometimes men can enjoy a conversation with you but not really be interested in anything more. In this case, a man was just being polite by asking for your number.

Reason #4: He Lost Interest He was interested in you at first, but something happened along the way to change his mind about you. In this case, maybe he sensed some anxiety from you that he didn’t know how to figure out or handle. Or maybe he sensed a bit of desperation (“You’re going to call me, right?”). Communicating either anxiousness or desperation early on before a man knows you is a sure attraction-killer. Relax. If he’ll call he’ll call. If not, you know he wasn’t the right one at the right time.

Reason #5: He Lost Your Number or Forgot to Call Yes, sometimes this really happens. Men lose your number and can’t call. Unfortunately, when it does, some women fill their heads with all kinds of not-so-happy stories that don’t make them feel great. Now with these 5 reasons, what do all of the situations of how a man behaves and whether or not he calls have in common? For starters, none of these 5 reasons have anything to do with who you are as a woman. If you don’t know it yet, it’s your choice to give the situations you come across with men the meaning you want.

Here’s what I mean by that:
If you’re criticizing yourself because a guy didn't pick up the phone and call you right away, you might end up feeling hurt or confused. And the next time you do get on the phone and try and have a casual conversation with that man, or another man, that confusion or fear comes across in lots of subtle ways. When this happens often times the conversation just won’t feel right to a man. And here’s the thing -- men can sense this whether you know it or not.

If you can choose to make more positive meaning for yourself with the things you don’t yet understand about men or dating, odds are just making this small shift for yourself will have big impact on your success and finding and connecting with the right man.

"It's Complicated"

I am beyond sick of the phrase "it's complicated" when it comes to a relationship! That phrase is the worst one used and more frequently than ever. It irritates me when a man uses that as a pass on his commitment to do dirt. When I ask you if you have a girlfriend, DON'T tell me "it's complicated" thinking that it's gonna get you in where you think you can fit it. It's black and white........yes or no! Don't tell me "it's complicated because it's "rocky".........what in the heck is that supposed to mean. When it's "rocky" in your relationship saying "it's complicated" doesn't give you a free pass to go be unfaithful and feel justified in doing so. If your relationship is so "rocky" then END IT! I've been in serious relationships and I've been through the "rocky" and "complicated" times but I NEVER used that as an excuse to go do as I please and feel justified by my triflin' actions and I surely didn't let that be the excuse for my boyfriend at the time. You either try to work out the "rocky" and "complicated" times in hopes to make your relationship last OR you make a decision to be done with it and move on because it clearly isn't working. Why put your "other half" through it just because YOU can't or don't want to deal with it? Just because your other half may not know for fact that you are being unfaithful does not mean that she isn't being torchered by the thoughts day in a day out that you probably are bein' unfaithful because all the signs point to it. It's scandalous, period the end. It just baffles me how some of you men think you're slick leavin' out pertinent information when engaging in conversation with another woman. And the audasity that you have to step to me while you got a whole girlfriend and possibly involve me whether you believe it to be that or not. Let me tell you something........when you have a girlfriend and you venture out to holla at me then you ARE involving me. We may not be getting serious or even looking to get into a relationship but if your girlfriend were to find out and I was not knowledgeable of her I guarantee in this world today that BOTH you and I would get the heat for it and IF your girlfriend is freakin' crazy then YOU are comprimising peace in MY life because she could do harmful things to me because she would perceive me as a scandalous broad because I'm hollerin' at you even if I didn't know. KEEP IT REAL DANG IT and let ME decide if I want to be a scandalous broad, which you will clearly see I AM NOT. So don't tell me once I've figured you out that "you aren't trying to get me involved" because every single person that comes into your life is an involvment in some form or fashion to you and possibly to your already present situations. I am proud to say I am a thinker. I'm proud to say that I am a question asker and not just some simple minded broad that chooses to be ignorant because you look like a good time. If you can't handle your COMMITMENT then spare your girlfriend the agony and be single. Go have your fun but don't do it at the expense of your girlfriends feelings and emotions because it is men like you that cause women like me to have so much pain in our hearts because of your lack of commitment and the dirt you decided to pleasure yourself with while I'M BEING FAITHFUL TO YOU. Miss me with it because I am NOT the one.

Ignoring your intuition

I like to think of myself as a very intuitive individual. I am however aware of my habit to ignore my intuition too often. One's intuition should not be taken lightly and should not be ignored by one. It is our intuition that often protects us from uncomfortable and/or unfortunate situations in our life. It is way to easy to ignore all the signs and stay in an ignorant state of mind to seek pleasure because facing the facts means we have to put ourself in check..........means we have to face reality and deal with what is in front of us at that moment in time.......means we have to cease all vulnerability to a situation. So why is it we choose to ignore our intuition in certain situations? Why is it our "gut" often leads us in the right direction and we choose to go the other way because their is a minute chance that our "gut" could be wrong......though in most cases it has proven that it was right. Ignorance can be bliss but facing reality can be pure growth. It can be our intuition that makes us stronger and protect us from complicated situations in the future. Moral of this blog is that intuition can be a powerful key to much better things in store for us so don't ignore it because as I have learned the hard way and am still contiuing to learn, God has given us our intuition as a tool and so we need to stay tuned to it.