Seriousness.

Category: Friends

This blog is about the seriousness of my blogs. There is a reason that when I'm expressing my happiness, hurt, anger, confusion, or sadness on here why I do NOT include names. The one reason is because quite frankly if it ain't got to do with you then you don't need to know who the business is about. If it is about you then thats between me and you and its something that obviously touched me in some way and blogging is what I thought about the situation. Secondly its because I like blogging but I don't do it for the purposes of puttin' my business out there but to let people know there are lessons to be learned and things to think about that may be goin' on in my life or in somebody's life that I may know. There is ALWAYS a point to my blogs and that is why I blog. Maybe its because I hope that when somebody reads my blogs that if they are in the wrong they will know how I feel about how they are or what they do, or maybe its just to keep people informed about how I feel about certain issues. If I write a blog and its about you......you are probably the ONLY person that knows that the blog is about you, so if somebody is makin' comments on here about my blog and NOT knowing who it is about then shouldn't nobody be gettin' directly offended or be holdin' grudges about somebody's comment to my blog. Its a thought of mine and if somebody comments then its somebody else's thought on my thought or there support for the issue. If you do read my blogs please don't be gettin' offended about other friends comments as they don't know who the blog is about and are only giving their opinion about what or how they may feel about the situation. Er'body got an opinion and you may not like their opinion but not er'body necessarily likes your opinions either. That is why we are different people. The point to this blog ..........don't take people's comments on my blogs so serious or personal please.

I should be your ONLY beautiful.

Category: Romance and Relationships

If you are in a relationship with someone and deep down you really like or LOVE this man or woman then things like "you're beautiful", "you're handsome", "I really want you to come see me" should be a SMALL portion of the things you should tell he or she on a REGULAR basis. And if you don't consistently tell your love the above then you sure the hell shouldn't be sayin' to NOBODY else. To sit there and tell another one of your female or male friends that he or she is beautiful more than once a day when you ain't even said it to your loved one yet is completely unacceptable! For you to have the audasity to do it in the first place shows the lack of respect that you have for the love of your life. Your girlfriend or boyfriend should be your ONLY beautiful. Where is your mind at when you say these things to other females or males?! I can tell you one thing it ain't with the love of your life that's for damn sure. SHAME ON YOU that think sayin' inappropriate things to the opposite sex is okay, shame on you for disrespectin' the love of your life, shame on you for the pain you are causing your significant other knowing it hurts their hearts and minds. SHAME ON YOU! YOU DON'T DESERVE the one that thinks of you with every step they take and every word they speak and all the love they pull out of their heart and soul to give you everyday of their life.

Don't compare me!!!

Category: Friends

I had a really good friend come to me this weekend during a drunkin' session of conversation (you know the real truth) about more than one person comparing her to me and insinuating that she need be more like me. Because of this she said she was kinda holding a grudge against me because of it. I don't think it was fair for her to hold a grudge against me for something I did not say and sure the hell did not encourage anyone else to say but that is how she felt. As flattering as it is that someone may have me on a high place of people they think about, I am NOT by any means perfect and I sure don't think you should compare anyone to me because as this friend made a point she said "why can't I just be me why do I have to be compared to you?" Her point was VERY valid. She is her own person and I am my own person and I hope everyone can realize that EVERYBODY is different and it is for a reason. The point of this blog is if you are reading it and you are comparing someone to me......DON'T. I don't want anyone to be like me, I want them to be like them and them ONLY. So for the sake of someone else's feelings and friendships leave my name out of your comparisons.

Quality Time

Category: Romance and Relationships

Okay so you get into a relationship or marriage and you wanna what..........SPEND QUALITY TIME with your significant other right? Yes this is typical of a loving relationship or marriage in my opinion. Asking to have one on one time with your man or woman is not something that should be a "burden" to the other. It should be cherished and loved. And for those of you out there that think bein' in the same place, room, or vicinity with your man or woman is spending "quality time" with them. You may want to ask em what they think about that because I GUARANTEE that you will find they probably have a different outlook on that. I am a pretty social woman and so is my man and often times when we're spending time together its in mixed company. And just because we are "hangin' out" with those people at the same time doesn't mean that we are spending the adequate ALONE a/k/a ONE on ONE time with each other. Me and my man aren't the most affectionate people out in public because quite frankly we don't have to be all up on each other for other people to know we are together or to show we love one another. So when we are in an appropriate place to show that affection I cherish and love it. The point you ask.......make sure you take and cherish the time with your other half because like some could vouche for they may not be around forever and you don't want to be bitter because you didn't get to spend a sufficient amount of time loving on your man or woman and God forbid that be the reason why your significant other grows apart from you because you were to SELFISH to give a little Quality Time to he or she.

I love you's........

Category: Life

I love you, love ya bye, love ya, much love, there are many different forms of expressing verbally that you love someone whether it be your significant other, a family member, or a friend. I often end a farewell to someone by phone, or in person, or even on a message on the computer with I love you or love ya bye. I NEVER say that if I don't mean it. I think some people get in the habit of using the word love towards someone in vain or because the other person said it first. This is where the confusion comes in when you say one thing and do another. Your ACTIONS reflect your love whether you say it or not. So when I say I love you in whatever form it may be I hope that you are comforted in knowing and SEEING that I indeed love you as a friend, or my boyfriend, or my family. I hope you are comforted in the fact that I don't take that phrase lightly. I care deeply about those that I say that to, I try not to hurt them in any way because of that love, and if I am in the wrong I will go to you to make sure you understand that I love our relationship, or our friendship so that you can see that I care and that I love you enough to make things right and not have things misunderstood. We all make mistakes and we all slip up and the other end may feel wronged by your actions but if you LOVE someone you will do what it takes to make things right which is the action of love.The questions I have for you is this.........when you say I love you in any form, do you mean it? Do you say it out of habit? Do you say it because it sounds good? Do you say it because of the pressure? Do you say it and back it up? I ask this of you........if you say it to me MEAN IT, SHOW IT, REMEMBER IT, and if you can't do those things please don't waste your breathe anymore in the future saying it to me. Because I DEMAND that the love I feel and try to show to the best of my ability to everyone I say it to is given unto me the same.

Expectations

Category: Romance and Relationships

Expect the best and if you are not receiving the best then YOU are settling for less than the best and can only blame yourself.

Influences.......what is yours?

Category: Life

Its only been over the last few years that I realized how strongly influential I can be to others around me. I've always been told that I have the ability to be a leader but sometimes I wish I could leave that up to others. I have had multiple people come up to me over the years to tell me how I have affected them personally or someone that they know. I will admit the most of it is in a positive manner but sometimes I can see my own influence directing someone down the wrong path and that is what makes me wish I sometimes did not have the ability to lead or affect someones life. I don't believe it is intended to be a burden to lead or influence but geeze I know I'm not perfect and its kind of scary to think someone may act like me or want to be like me just from being around me and liking me.There was a comment made to me this weekend about a certain influence I had on someone and it was kind of funny but it was also like wow please don't let me steer you in a direction that you may not want for yourself. I know everybody is capable of making their own decisions and facing their own consequences but I don't want anyone facing a consequence because they were influenced by me and chose to do the same as I. I to am influenced but I don't feel as much as some are. I never really have fell into peer pressure hardly at all. Thank God for the strong will and head that he has provided me to have in my life. What is the point of this blog you ask? It is this.........just remember whether young or old the people around you are always listening and most of the time absorbing in your words and your actions. What kind of influence are you leaving on them?

Second Chances........should you get any?

Category: Romance and Relationships

There is always this thin line between love and hate they say and I believe it to be true. In the last year and a half I have had to make some decisions in my relationship and in the relationship with friends about whether once you cross a KNOWN line with my thoughts and heart if I should give you a second chance to prove you aren't the low down, stupid, childish, no good person I was provoked to think bad about at a point in time. My best friend Jessica told me at the beginning of this year that she heard a sermon in church talking about second chances and how we basically shouldn't just turn our shoulder away from someone who has wronged us in the past but to give a second chance. I believe her sharing that with me when she did was important in my life because I was struggling to FORGIVE and FORGET someone that had done me wrong and others very close to me wrong. I've even found myself with a man that I love with ALL of my heart that I couldn't stand last year because of some hurtful events that took place that broke the wonderful bond we had before. There are always decisions of giving second chances, but BOY ITS HARD! I've had to do that a lot in the last year and a half and I tell ya if it weren't for God giving me a second chance every day of my life I wouldn't even think twice about giving that person that hurt me another chance. Its way too easy to just say stay out of my life and pretend like they never existed.
The question though is should you always feel obligated to give second chances? If someone cheats on you with one of your friends, do you give them a second chance with a relationship and do you give that friend a second chance with frienship? If someone goes behind your back and sleeps with one of your ex's that they know would offend you, do you give them a second chance at frienship? If someone gets mad at you for something you don't even realize you did and just completely disassociates themself from your wonderful friendship, do you give them a second chance with frienship? The list can go on and on and on but where do we as adults no where to find the answers to the above? I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

Inner strength and why it gets so hard to keep it up.

Category: Life

I'm sitting here listening to one of my favorites, Louis Armstrong, and he has such a calming style of music and as he's singing "what a wonderful world" its like everything in my life right now is just wonderful. Then the song goes off and I realize it to be different. It seems like it gets harder and harder to be hard and strong these days. Is it because I'm getting older or is it becaue I've lost site of my own inner strength to overcome obstacles in my life. I sometimes find myself trying to help others with their obstacles so that I don't have to worry about my own but they eventually catch up. Is it therefore a choice to be weaker by laziness or is it a choice to be weaker because of giving up? I don't know but there has got to be a way to restore the strength I once had and that I hope I am capable of having once again. Thank God for the people in my life that keep me together in mind, body, and soul because some people don't have anybody. I can't imagine.

The background of one can explain so much

I learned something this weekend. You can have friends that are deeply troubled in different areas in there life. Yeah I know most people do know this about their friends. But do you ever sit back and really try to find out why one is crying, lashing out in anger, or even quiet. I got to a point this weekend that I just wanted to physically cry, hearing from some people about things that happened in their past that makes them who they are today. Whether it is making them scared of a certain type of person or if it gives them trust issues or has them afraid to love. Whatever it may be. My heart cried this weekend because sometimes the people you love have some very difficult situations that they have dealt with in life or are still dealing with to this day even as adults. They may not feel like they can tell anybody because those things that burden them are so ridiculously horrifying.My heart cried and my mind wonders about why the only thing that I can really feel I can do to help that person is to listen. Maybe give advice about a situation I may know nothing about in hopes that it may help ease the mind of another. To give them a BIG hug and let them know my shoulder is here for comfort, my ear is hear to listen, and my heart is here to love them. I realized how fortunate I was once again.

Friends and how are they a conflict of interest?

Category: Friends

In the line of life you will make friends and you will lose touch with friends. I have met many wonderful people through some of my really good friends and being the person I am have developed wonderful friendships with those people. The problem I run into is when you have friends that end up beefing. You then are trying not to be torn between the two as you get both sides of the puzzle and also trying not to take sides with either. Now if someone asks or somebody seems to fall out of line and they ask me for my opinion I will tell them what I think but I have always tried to make it a point that if someone in the group of friends is mad, to not just decide to be mad right along with them. Especially if the situation technically has nothing to do with me. I want to be there to comfort both sides if necessary but don't want to look as though I am being a traitor because I am choosing to be an adult and maintaining the friendship that I have invested in emotionally with both friends.I often get to a point where I have to say I don't want to know because the more false or accurate information you obtain from both sides you will naturally get your feelings and opinions flowing against one of your friends if not both. The point of this is I don't understand why some people expect you to dismiss one friend because they are beefing with them. That is yo biz so that means you need to handle it not me. I am simply here to be a shoulder, maybe some advice, and a good friend to you in the time of need not your alliance in the midst of war between you as my friend and my other friend.

A lesson learned from a different perspective.

Category: Life

There is usually a lesson learned from another's perspective of a situation. The messed up thing is usually the lesson learned isn't always the kindest. You will never really know what people think about something you might say or do. I try to keep in mind that my words or actions could be offensive to another but as we all sometimes go on just a whim of thought. Our judgment is impaired not thinkin' of somebody else's perspective. I'm tryin' to learn that assumptions don't get you anywhere most of the time. In the words of the Great Stingy when you assume most of the time both parties look like an ass. So true. What is the point of this thought you may ask. Just remember what you say and what you do can be offensive to another and can make them react in a angry manor before seein' your outlook on the situation. Then you may react in an inappropriate manor because when somebody comes at you so negative its hard to just brush that off and learn. Retaliation is not always the anwer.

When you don't think anyone can relate.

Category: Friends

Just when you don't think anybody else in your life can relate to a certain situation in your life........your proven wrong. That is why I love my friends! When it comes to finances, kids, boyfriends, family, or anything for that matter if you take the time to really sit down and converse with your FOR REAL homies you will find out your situation may be the same thing they're goin' through. Then you find out your unfortunate situation became a little easier because you had your friend to relate with and get their insight on how they are dealin' with it. Its like you just knew you were on the same page of the same book in that time in your life.

How many sorries does it take for you to get sense?!?!?

Category: Romance and Relationships

So the question I have is how many times do you let someone tell you sorry for the SAME freakin' thing??? I need to know because my kind and loving judgment is impaired. I mean if you REALLY love someone with your WHOLE being isn't that person so important to you that you don't need to look elsewhere? Is my love not sufficient enough for you to feel sexy, hansom, loved, and safe with me that you don't need the comfort of another female to make you feel nice about yourself and give you the CHILDISH ATTENTION your lookin' for? Is it not enough for the love of your life to say I don't appreciate that or think those actions are appropriate when your with me, please don't do it again? I mean if you want to be free and date go do it but when you are in a COMMITED relationship you don't look at other females like that anymore, you don't talk to girls like your tryin' to get at that for a night, you don't keep disrespectin' the person that thinks of you with every step they take. You can't have a one sided successful love relationship. THEY DON'T WORK! Despite what the worlds definition of a "commited relationship" is today. I always look at my father and think man I want a man that is like my Dad. He would NEVER talk inappropriately to another woman. He is only thinkin' about his WIFE whom he LOVES. That is what I deserve. RESPECT AT THE HIGHEST and nothing less!

Priveleges......you should be so grateful.

Category: Life

In life we are given priveleges......when those priveleges are taken away we tend to get angry without realizing that we should have been more freakin' grateful for what someone else has allowed us to do with their things, car, or phone. What people tend to forget is if I ALLOW you to use something of mine I EXPECT you to take care of whatever it is with the utmost caution so that when I get it back it is exactly as I had given it to you when you used it. Moral of the story is don't freakin' get mad because you messed up your PRIVELEGE to use something of mine! Take time to find out if there is a way to earn back the trust and maybe I will grant you the privelege to use it again. MAYBE.

The definition of medlin' or bein' nosey.

Category: Life

This is a lesson for all you confused MOFO's when it comes to people bein' nosey or medlin':
I often hear people tell me I'm nosey or I medle a lot. Well heck yeah I do! My ears are always open to everyone's conversation how do you think mofo's like me stay so daggon informed. With people like me often comes paranoya when it comes to your significant other. My point is if mofo's didn't leave things for us to find that would OBVIOUSLY piss a normal person off or jeapordize the special investment of a relationship you work so hard to build.....they would never know people like me medled as much as we do. You only know when I medle if I find something disturbing thats gon' make me say some freakin' thing bout it. PLEASE BELIEVE IT. The lesson to learn from this is don't be doin' things triflin' STOP BEIN' CHILDISH AND GROW UP! and you won't have nobody in yo business. You got to earn the right to not have yo stuff medled in!

What are friends???????

Category: Friends

I have found out that in the 23 years I've been living and escpecially in this last 2 years that you have got to watch your back with your friends. Isn't that horrible these days that even the ones you think you know the best can be some of the ones that do the shittiest things to you. Hits the heart HARD. I just wanted to say watch who you trust and those that you do trust......can you really trust em????