Thoughts on the death of Osama bin Laden

I watched along with millions of other Americans, the news that Osama bin Laden has been killed. I find myself in shock that our nation is at all in joyous triumph regarding such news. So yes, maybe Osama was a bad man, orchestrated the attack on our country we call 911, and been in hiding for all of these years undetected. My questions are these: What exactly do you feel this supposed death has accomplished? Do we as a country believe the news we see? Do you believe that this death will now cease the plan that he may have had for our country in our future? Do you really believe that, if he is in fact dead, that he wasn't prepared for such an event, if it took place in his future? Do you believe that this death isn't fueling the fire within his followers to bring even more tragedy to our country with the amount of loyalty they had to this man and their country, AGAINST our country, to where they would choose to by martyrs for their country, as they did once before? I have the hardest time trying to figure out that if this man, who has caused so much tragedy in our country, was found, why it is we didn't bring his behind over here to force him and forward to our country the opportunity to pry this man for information to find out what may be in store, or who else may be in association with his plan that may have already infiltrated our country, as they did once before? Did we kill this man for lack of exposure, that it's possible that someone amongst us as a fellow American could have been in cahoots with Osama and to kill him was a better idea then him snitching? Why was he given death when men and women all across our country are held for trials for murdering of innocent people DAILY, but this man has to answer to no one because we didn't even make that an option? We didn't even give this man the option to say "I tell you nothing". We just killed the man without any scrutiny, punishment for what we have endured as a country with his supposed orders, or exposure? Do we as a country not believe that any information that this "terrorist" honcho may have had, whether good or bad, could have shed some light on the travesty we call 911 for all the people who fell victim of losing their lives or the family members who lost loved ones? That the victims would have maybe loved to have for their own personal reasons such information. #1: It seriously amazes me that it took us this long to find this man; #2: I am baffled at the fact he was given an easy way out when we don't even do the same for our fellow Americans; #3: Can you imagine how great some families/individuals would feel if the one's they accused of crimes against them, were immediately put to death without a single peep as to why, whether it be lie or not? I just can't wrap my head around how this supposed death is a come-up on our part as a nation. This also falls into my theory of fighting. 'MY THEORY: Almost every person has AT LEAST one "ride or die" person in their life, that if something came along to threaten the health or life of their person, that they wouldn't do everything in their power to make sure the offender/enemy would pay for what was done. A fight doesn't solve anything in my opinion. All that I see it doing is, once a fight happens, no matter who gets beat down the worst, you have the friends/family that will come to their aid to find resolution or revenge on the offender and in most cases, such comes in a multitude of animosity and anger. Fighting is a domino effect to cause more fighting and hatred.' So with that theory we have "killed Osama bin Laden", we have now thoroughly pissed off his followers, who are I'm sure, already filled with animosity toward our country. We stay overseas fighting this "war on terror" that is STILL going on and killing the Americans that continue to be sent over there, to accomplish who knows what, because we're going over there killing husband, wives, & children. Why is it their country isn't allowed to have animosity towards our country and act? They send a few people over here and kill many of our people but then we send multitudes of armed forces over there for YEARS on end doing this on a regular basis. I think they deserve to be a bit angry with our country. If roles were switched, we sure the hell would be. Does anybody else out there think that our eyes are being covered from certain truths that the leaders, we call government, don't really desire for us to know? It doesn't matter if you agree with my opinion or not but have you ever sat back and thought in different angles of this situation and not just in the way that our government and the media would prefer you to think? I don't quite care who this might offend because I have my opinion and I'm entitled to it. There are just so many questions that arise when I heard this news and quite honestly it scares me to think of what such action on our country may have set us up for in our future.

The thief disguised as a friend

Had a situation arise about a month ago, where money was stolen out of my purse behind my back, in MY house. When the incident occurred I found myself questioning my surroundings and eliminating suspects in the vicinity that night with my own method. The one person I suspected ultimately, because of the unique circumstances of where my money was located, I came to and straight out asked about it after days of brewing on it. When confronted I believe she was lying because she couldn't look me in my eyes and then quoted "I would never steal from you, Berachah." Though I still didn't believe her, I let the subject go and left it be for the time being because I KNOW, in time truth will always be revealed. Subsequent to this incident I found one day that my GPS, Ipod Shuffle (with my name engraved ON it), and movies were also stolen from me in my absence in the house. Upon my findings I was filled with fury. My heart was telling me what I felt I already knew and after further investigation, it was discovered that my roommate/good friend was the culprit, the thief I despised, the dishonest person in my life. After confronting her I later got my GPS and SOME of my movies returned. She still is claiming she didn't take the money or the Ipod but there is no coincidence that the Ipod came up missing at the same time as my GPS (which she couldn't pawn because it was password protected). There is no coincidence that she was the main suspect in the house the night my money was stolen. She can claim what she wants but I know better than that. I'm not a fool in smart shoes. Needless to say when confronting her she kept saying sorry but the words "I'm sorry" followed by actions of stealing from me when I've basically been your support for the past year is not acceptable or sincere in my opinion. Any true friend of mine knows that I'm one of the most helpful and generous people and if I have the means to help you out, within reasonable bounds, that I will upon your asking me nicely. There is no excuse for one to find themselves stealing from me. I in NO way will tolerate or excuse it for ANY reason! It's selfish and always gonna come back to ya. She and I are no longer friends because no matter the reason for her actions, no friend of mine would steal from me. I don't care if you were high as the furthest star in the sky off of whatever........that was YOUR choice to do, not mine. I'm still very angry about all of this and hurt by it but I figure another lesson learned. Once again I reached out my helping hand and once again I was burned for no good reason. The only satisfaction I get when burned is knowing that karma exempts no one from its wrath. He who steals will be stolen from. He who deceives will be deceived. He who lies with be lied to. He who disregards the love of a friend, will have a hard time finding love with another. I'm still on the look out for my Ipod. It is a little, white Ipod shuffle, with white earphones, and has my name "Berachah" engraved on it in gray because it was a gift. Any information about its whereabouts will be held in confidence and much appreciated. Moral of this blog: Be careful who you trust and listen to the friends around you trying to warn you.

The new job

Well so far so good on the job front. I started working on February 21, 2011 and love it thus far. The people I encounter on a day to day basis at work are awesome. Still yet to find someone mean and hope I don't. lol Great group of people to be such a large company. I'm learning an insane amount EVERY day but getting nothing but great feedback in regards to my work, so that is encouragement that I needed, with this new occupation. My goal with every job that I've had in my life it to make myself an asset to the company employing me. For me that is the wise thing to do. That a ways, if something were to happen with me losing my job, there is no negative thing they can say about me and the company losing me will feel the burn when I leave because I know I bring greatness to the table of occupation. I feel there is a large amount of expectation with this job and I'm doin' my best not to let the people counting on me down. I believe I'm doin' well. It is a humbling experience talking with patients day to day. Sometimes I'll find myself tired or moody and then I'll receive a phone call from a patient calling about their bill and telling me their story, and often times I find myself breaking down, feeling nothing but sympathy, adding to my special patient prayer list, and reminding myself how grateful I am and should remain for the health I do have. It could be gone in a second. This job is a blessing to me in many ways.

Romance's Sensitivity

Around July last year I found myself in a situation with a friend of mine. Even though no "terms or limitations" were set out, I didn't plan on feelings or really anything coming of it, I was just going with the flow. I knew I had a great time with this man and just hoped for more good times to come. After more time had passed I found myself really liking this person and that having feelings for this man. I didn't plan it but I realize that as much as I've felt in my past that you can put a guard up or maybe even a time limit or block up on your feelings that this time I had no control. I was feeling and wanting more than just a friendship and it was totally throwing me off. We spent a lot of time in 2010 together and so many new experiences and priceless, good times. Even though I think in the end his feelings didn't flow like mine or get to where mine did grow, I know he cared about me, made me smile, and was a positive in my life, and I don't regret any of it because I shared so many good times and I believe it had a purpose. I found myself questioning the depth of my feelings for another person who I've found myself falling for over the years. There are no words that can express the way I feel but I believe he knew/knows and that is all that matters. Romance's sensitivity will take you on a journey sometimes that you will find refreshing and surprising. I'm glad we can still be friends through it all and my favorite quote between he and I through it all....."you can't quit me!". LOL *inside joke*

Sanity amongst hardships....

I had hoped that 2011 was going to be a much better year than 2010 but it has been REALLY hard to see that so far. I've received disconnect notices, been broker than I've ever been, jobless, more dependant than I've ever felt or needed, and more stressed and discouraged than I've ever been. A lot of things in my life have taken a turn that have been unexpected and very unpredictable. I'm finding out a LOT about myself and a lot about the "friends" in my life that are here. It's a harsh reality when you find yourself somewhat lost in a world of people, places, and things that you found secure and stable before. It's very true that you will find out who the true people in your life are when you are at your worst. I am unfortunately finding that out more and more each day and to tell ya the truth......the reality isn't always rainbows and sunny skies. The irony is that some of the people that I didn't ever expect to be people I would lean on, trust, be close to, etc. are the people that I hold dear to me. They have been and remain a blessing in my life and I thank God for them regularly. They have been part of the reason I have been able to maintain my sanity through all the stress and hardships and though I tell them I appreciate them, I don't think they really understand how grateful I am for them in my life.

I have implemented a NO TOLERANCE and FOLLOW THROUGH policy starting this year. I know you should have this sort of policy in place throughout the course of your life but I've not been as serious about it as I should have been in the past. This time I am not playin' around and I believe people are starting to get the gist.

I received a job offer last Friday and I had to go for my health assessment and drug test this morning. I passed with flying colors and I was asked to start working on Monday, February 21. I walked out of the hospital with a smile and joy on my face, like I just won a million dollars. I've been waiting and praying for this day for the past month and a half and God finally blessed me with the opportunity. I will be in a COMPLETELY different occupation than I'm used to but if I have found nothing else about myself over the years, it is that I am a great adapter and learner so there is nothing to great that I cannot accomplish it and do it to the best of what I am expected. I will be working at Jewish Hospital and St. Mary's Healthcare in Louisville making a little more than I was making, so I am grateful for that because I thought I would have to take a pay cut. It appears that I will be working with a great group of people based on my impressions I gathered through the two interview step process. I am excited beyond belief and will be celebrating my butt off these next few days in light of my awesome news! lol A lot of things are going to be changing and I'm excited about the change. Change is good.........most of the time!!!

Life's journey in 2010

So 2010 was probably my toughest year yet, in my 28 years. It's almost hard to explain everything I went through but I'm going to attempt to break it down a bit. In May, I parted ways with a close friend, which I had never had to really deal with the way that it ended. I found myself questioning a lot of things and people around me off the back of it, just because of the way it all went down. A lot of people that knew this particular friendship were somewhat dumbfounded and anticipated it to be just a spat and temporary rather than what it actually became, permament. There was an overwhelming amount of disprespect and demeaning of character that this person dished out over something that I found (and still find) so petty, when it was all said and done, I believe I'm better off without this person. I stand by the fact that my life is not to be dictated by any friend of mine and will stand firm on this idea until the day that I lay it to rest. It's amazing the thoughts and feelings that will come out when someone is mad at you. True colors were shown like I had never seen 'em and I'm sure glad they eventually came to light, even if through this unfortunate way because life's already full of trials and tribulations, that there should be no room made for unnecessary pettiness, fakeness, and ungenuine-like people calling themselves "friends" to come make it any harder. To date, me and this person are no longer friends and as far as I'm concerned, I'm much better off and not regretting. I didn't anticipate her to be a "season" in my life but apparently God had a different plan for that friendship. I believe everything happens for a reason. If you aren't lifting me up, then I gotta remove you from my scene.

I found out in October that I was going to be losing my job with the company I had been working with for 6 years and the attorney I had been working with for 7 years. It was much to my surprise and definitely not the best news. I procrastinated too much in the following 3 months in finding a new job and was rather discouraged at the amount of others who were also finding themselves in the same unfortunate predicament as myself. I knew with as much qualification and experience that I had, that finding a new job shouldn't be hard, but at the same time I wasn't seeing too many opportunities that were on the pay level that I was preferring. Plus I was having to find a different type of occupation and didn't have a clue what I wanted to do. I had been working at a real estate title company for 7 years and loved it. I had been informed by many sources that the real estate market wasn't going to show any signs of improvement, from its already poor state, for another 2-3 years and so trying to find a job within the same field wasn't ideal or stable in my opinion. I was kind of excited about the "vacation" of having a job initially, but after those bills started rolling in, disconnect notices started appearing, broke becoming a serious reality, and unemployment taking a LONG time to start paying......I wasn't so fond of the "vacation" I was somewhat excited to have originally. I now understand that having a job is something you shouldn't ever take advantage of because when it is gone, it is HARD.

I picked up a lot of bad habits in 2010 and through all the hardships I began to over consume in such habits. Though I don't like to admit it, I went through an extremely self destructive phase in my life and had a GREAT time doing it. I don't regret any of it because I enjoyed myself during this phase and had a lot of good times and met a lot of great people. All of it started to hit me kind of hard emotionally towards the fall of last year. I found myself breaking down when I was alone with myself one day. It was then that I decided at the close of 2010 that the phase needed to end and be left in 2010, and thus far I have accomplished such and am doin' rather well.

Been a loooooong time........

It has indeed been a long while since I've blogged, but I have missed it tremendously and will be posting regularly again. Writing is very therapeutic for me so I believe I should pick it back up because my life has been quite interesting. Sooooo stay tuned and most of all, ENJOY!