Around July last year I found myself in a situation with a friend of mine. Even though no "terms or limitations" were set out, I didn't plan on feelings or really anything coming of it, I was just going with the flow. I knew I had a great time with this man and just hoped for more good times to come. After more time had passed I found myself really liking this person and that having feelings for this man. I didn't plan it but I realize that as much as I've felt in my past that you can put a guard up or maybe even a time limit or block up on your feelings that this time I had no control. I was feeling and wanting more than just a friendship and it was totally throwing me off. We spent a lot of time in 2010 together and so many new experiences and priceless, good times. Even though I think in the end his feelings didn't flow like mine or get to where mine did grow, I know he cared about me, made me smile, and was a positive in my life, and I don't regret any of it because I shared so many good times and I believe it had a purpose. I found myself questioning the depth of my feelings for another person who I've found myself falling for over the years. There are no words that can express the way I feel but I believe he knew/knows and that is all that matters. Romance's sensitivity will take you on a journey sometimes that you will find refreshing and surprising. I'm glad we can still be friends through it all and my favorite quote between he and I through it all....."you can't quit me!". LOL *inside joke*
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Sanity amongst hardships....
I had hoped that 2011 was going to be a much better year than 2010 but it has been REALLY hard to see that so far. I've received disconnect notices, been broker than I've ever been, jobless, more dependant than I've ever felt or needed, and more stressed and discouraged than I've ever been. A lot of things in my life have taken a turn that have been unexpected and very unpredictable. I'm finding out a LOT about myself and a lot about the "friends" in my life that are here. It's a harsh reality when you find yourself somewhat lost in a world of people, places, and things that you found secure and stable before. It's very true that you will find out who the true people in your life are when you are at your worst. I am unfortunately finding that out more and more each day and to tell ya the truth......the reality isn't always rainbows and sunny skies. The irony is that some of the people that I didn't ever expect to be people I would lean on, trust, be close to, etc. are the people that I hold dear to me. They have been and remain a blessing in my life and I thank God for them regularly. They have been part of the reason I have been able to maintain my sanity through all the stress and hardships and though I tell them I appreciate them, I don't think they really understand how grateful I am for them in my life.
I have implemented a NO TOLERANCE and FOLLOW THROUGH policy starting this year. I know you should have this sort of policy in place throughout the course of your life but I've not been as serious about it as I should have been in the past. This time I am not playin' around and I believe people are starting to get the gist.
I received a job offer last Friday and I had to go for my health assessment and drug test this morning. I passed with flying colors and I was asked to start working on Monday, February 21. I walked out of the hospital with a smile and joy on my face, like I just won a million dollars. I've been waiting and praying for this day for the past month and a half and God finally blessed me with the opportunity. I will be in a COMPLETELY different occupation than I'm used to but if I have found nothing else about myself over the years, it is that I am a great adapter and learner so there is nothing to great that I cannot accomplish it and do it to the best of what I am expected. I will be working at Jewish Hospital and St. Mary's Healthcare in Louisville making a little more than I was making, so I am grateful for that because I thought I would have to take a pay cut. It appears that I will be working with a great group of people based on my impressions I gathered through the two interview step process. I am excited beyond belief and will be celebrating my butt off these next few days in light of my awesome news! lol A lot of things are going to be changing and I'm excited about the change. Change is good.........most of the time!!!
I have implemented a NO TOLERANCE and FOLLOW THROUGH policy starting this year. I know you should have this sort of policy in place throughout the course of your life but I've not been as serious about it as I should have been in the past. This time I am not playin' around and I believe people are starting to get the gist.
I received a job offer last Friday and I had to go for my health assessment and drug test this morning. I passed with flying colors and I was asked to start working on Monday, February 21. I walked out of the hospital with a smile and joy on my face, like I just won a million dollars. I've been waiting and praying for this day for the past month and a half and God finally blessed me with the opportunity. I will be in a COMPLETELY different occupation than I'm used to but if I have found nothing else about myself over the years, it is that I am a great adapter and learner so there is nothing to great that I cannot accomplish it and do it to the best of what I am expected. I will be working at Jewish Hospital and St. Mary's Healthcare in Louisville making a little more than I was making, so I am grateful for that because I thought I would have to take a pay cut. It appears that I will be working with a great group of people based on my impressions I gathered through the two interview step process. I am excited beyond belief and will be celebrating my butt off these next few days in light of my awesome news! lol A lot of things are going to be changing and I'm excited about the change. Change is good.........most of the time!!!
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