Your life can be over in an instant.

Category: Life

Though we hear about death daily from watchin' the news or even from the stories that surface throughout each day it seems, you never really think it will end up bein' so close to you. I watch CSI (Crime Scene Investigation) on television regularly and even though I don't care to hear about death I for some reason find the show intriguing. However I never wanted to be able to say that I've ever seen one of those awful crime scenes in real life. I was at a club this weekend and the night went from fun to gut wrenching in like 5 minutes. Though I didn't witness the actual shooting, hearing it from inside the spot and knowing it was just right outside of the spot that was only sheltered by glass made my stomach turn. My life could have been over in an instant if one of those bullet's went astray into the building. What was going to stop it except for an object or person. All that I could think about was all the people out there watchin' the drama take place from what I thought was just a stupid drunkin' fight in the club and hoping that whoever decided to SELFISHLY pull guns out in the midst of so many innocent bi-standards wouldn't accidentally or on purpose hurt or kill anyone. That was not the case in this particular situation. When it was all over two people lost their lives and another was close to losin' his. I got to see my first real life dead body this weekend and even though I didn't know the victims personally it still made me cry. My heart hurt for them. And even though they may have wronged people in the past and may have been part of the shooting. Did anybody really deserve to lose their lives? I just kept thinkin' about how grateful I was that it wasn't me or any of my friends who caught any of the many bullet's fired when it was all goin' on. I have friends that have caught bullet's and thank God they are able to say that they are still breathing but all the craziness these days just scares the crap out of me. I have ALWAYS stressed how much I do NOT like guns and do NOT like to be around them. I know some people think guns solve the issues of some of these IMMATURE IDIOTS of the world walkin' around on a "power tip" because they carryin' a piece and can't nobody phase them, but all that crap does is ignite the flame further under the butt of loved ones and friends for "justice." I will never understand it all and I just hope and pray that when I go it won't be because I was out and about mindin' my own and some idiots decided to start fightin' or whatever and I catch a bullet and die havin' nothing to do with the situation. It was definitely a bit of an eye opener. I know bad things happen all the time and drama seems to be continuous around here but I still think there is NO excuse for retaliation by way of tryin' to end ones life. For anybody that reads this I'm not goin' to apologize if you've become offended by this blog and the way I feel. God is the ONLY one who should be choosin' when our lives are over. It is not up to us to place judgment and our choice of punishment on ANY individual no matter what they've done to you. They may in fact be "bad" people in your eyes but why let your animosity take over because in the end whether you choose to end someone's life or not we will ALL be judged by God by what WE chose to do and not one someone has done to us. There will be no valid excuses or pointing of fingers in heaven.

An apology doesn’t make EVERYTHING okay.

Category: Friends

I know it is said once someone apologizes that we are supposed to "forgive and forget" but does anybody else realize how hard that is to do. I am a very loving and forgiving person HOWEVER once I've been wronged by someone, I have a hard time with just "forgive and forget" as I am not God. I am human and with that comes error but blatant disrespect amongst other hateful remarks are not all solved by the words "I'm sorry" in my opinion. I definitely do NOT like to hold grudges against anyone but I almost can't fathom how I am supposed to just forget. I'm not okay with someone doin' me wrong and tryin' to come back into my life just as soon as the words "I'm sorry" comes out of their mouth like that should make EVERYTHING okay. It doesn't! In the back of my mind I will always retain what someone has done to me, and whether that is just memory of pain or maybe just plain mistrust, it is still there. I am by far perfect but when I've wronged someone I am quick to try to make it right if I am knowledgeable of it but I also know that "I'm sorry" does not always bring a resolution to the hurt and I don't sit there and pretend like the person I may have hurt has completely forgotten about it. If they are human like myself I doubt strongly that it is forgotten when forgiven. I don't know maybe it is a defect I have and something that I need to learn to do but for now those things will linger in my mind when he or she is talkin' to me like everything is all hunky-dory. The point of this blog is just to let you know I don't FORGET the GOOD or the BAD that one has done to me so keep that in mind when you are talkin' to me or maybe callin' me everyday like you once used to.......hint hint I'm probably not okay with it right off the bat if EVER.