So I got back from vacation in beautiful Cape Canaveral, Cocoa Beach, and Orlando, FL yesternight. Me, Raindrop, and Cuz Cuz set out on the 14 hour long drive on Friday, June 12 and came back on Saturday, June 20. It was a LONG vacation and it was awesome! It was almost too long though because none of us wanted to leave. Like if I didn't have a kiddo and we all didn't have financial responsibilities, and things of that nature, I believe we would have all just said screw it and made Florida our new residence. lol Seriously though I would consider a move to beautiful Florida seriously........I really loved it and though I've been before I never really was like "I could move here" type stuff.........I really felt it this time. I believe I'm destined to live on the South Eastern coast somewhere eventually anyways so what better of a place then Florida. lol Me and the gals are definitely plannin' on makin' this an annual trip for those of us that don't move down there before then. lol We had our fun, relaxation, and sun bathing and I'm ready to go back.
Plus on a MAKE ME SMILE BIG note.........I met this wonderful man down there named Will and golly it is totally funny how things work out. We ended up meeting at this one spot and the timing was just right. He is incredibly sweet........he is a total gentleman in every sense of the definition..........he's gorgeous.......and compatibility is not even in question at the moment........I'm missin' him already. We actually got to spend a lot of time together while I was down there so I look forward to our next visit soon. Wouldn't that be funny if I met the man of my dreams in Florida. I'm not at all opposing to the idea but we'll see what God has to say about that one. Till then I'mma keep smilin' and go with the flow as I usually do.
I believe once I get into work tomorrow I will find reality sitting on my desk looking at me. lol So back to reality I am, and looking forward to the next get away from here trip. I believe ATL will be getting a visit next month for a weekend at least.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
The confusion of feelings
So maybe I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve.........so I'm told.........how do I refrain from doing so? Does that result in creating the notion that I'm meant to be put through MORE trials and tribulations than the average person? This past two weeks have been filled with so much unwanted stress, drama, and uneasy emotions.
When people say kindness can be seen as a sign of weakness...........I think my kindness is a MAJOR weakness for me. How horrible is that to say.........it's messed up I know. I try to be so considerate of another's feelings and in turn I am usually the one having to face unacceptable behaviour coming from the other person. Even with all the walls I have up, people still find a way to try and knock me down. My strength is tested and tested and tested on a regular basis. Can you people just choose to test my strength every blue moon rather than so daggon often. I am a STRONG woman! You will NOT BREAK ME!
I'm still at a loss in regards to a situation in my life, and quite honestly I am not havin' the easiest time understanding the facts being placed in my path of thoughts. It's like they're being thrown at me at a speed of 100 MPH........causing me to have no time to prepare myself for the impact. Because this person is confused about thoughts and feelings, I have to suffer. My feelings will not come second to anyone else's in this situation........it's just NOT RIGHT! What kind of bullish is that anyways?! I KNOW I don't deserve this kind of foolishness, so until you decide to get it together and figure out what the heck you are REALLY feeling...........leave me be please.
You would think with all the experience I have in heartache and messed up situations that I would have mastered the control over the uneasy emotions that are a direct result of these situations. I know I'm supposed to grow with each chapter in my life, but I often feel like I'm having to learn over and over again the same lessons. I KNOW I'm learning from the past situations that make me act and feel the way I do, but why does my book of life have so many similar chapters? Even when I analyze and evaluate the heck out of someone or something in my life, someone still seems to find a way to hit me with an uncomfortable surprise out of left field.
I often times tell other people to just "brush it off" and remember to smile. Most definitely easier said than done.
When people say kindness can be seen as a sign of weakness...........I think my kindness is a MAJOR weakness for me. How horrible is that to say.........it's messed up I know. I try to be so considerate of another's feelings and in turn I am usually the one having to face unacceptable behaviour coming from the other person. Even with all the walls I have up, people still find a way to try and knock me down. My strength is tested and tested and tested on a regular basis. Can you people just choose to test my strength every blue moon rather than so daggon often. I am a STRONG woman! You will NOT BREAK ME!
I'm still at a loss in regards to a situation in my life, and quite honestly I am not havin' the easiest time understanding the facts being placed in my path of thoughts. It's like they're being thrown at me at a speed of 100 MPH........causing me to have no time to prepare myself for the impact. Because this person is confused about thoughts and feelings, I have to suffer. My feelings will not come second to anyone else's in this situation........it's just NOT RIGHT! What kind of bullish is that anyways?! I KNOW I don't deserve this kind of foolishness, so until you decide to get it together and figure out what the heck you are REALLY feeling...........leave me be please.
You would think with all the experience I have in heartache and messed up situations that I would have mastered the control over the uneasy emotions that are a direct result of these situations. I know I'm supposed to grow with each chapter in my life, but I often feel like I'm having to learn over and over again the same lessons. I KNOW I'm learning from the past situations that make me act and feel the way I do, but why does my book of life have so many similar chapters? Even when I analyze and evaluate the heck out of someone or something in my life, someone still seems to find a way to hit me with an uncomfortable surprise out of left field.
I often times tell other people to just "brush it off" and remember to smile. Most definitely easier said than done.
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